I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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