it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize