Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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