No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
