Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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