Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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