Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
