I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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