we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
