Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
