dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
