Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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