I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize