he thought i was a dude.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
