Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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