wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize