He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
