Betty ford says i'm here all night
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize