Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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