Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
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Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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