She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
