dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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