I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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