dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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