can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
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Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
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Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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