Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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