well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
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I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
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I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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