Will you blow on my dice?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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