just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
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