bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
