porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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