i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
