I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
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tequila makes me forget i have legs
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
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He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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