Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize