I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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