At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Drunk is a universal language darling
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
