I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You're a waste of cheezeits
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
