so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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