Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I cannot find my penis.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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