im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
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I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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