did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
