Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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