so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
