The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize