all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
