all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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