You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
