Jerry, you need to find god
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
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She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
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I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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