I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
