I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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