I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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