dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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