oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
