Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
