the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize