after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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