it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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