Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
