my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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