I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
