3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize